Comparison

I hate comparison.
I really hate it. Even if you put it in 'there won't be growth if there's no comparison.'
I STILL hate to be compared with others.
Let me put it in this way,
Nobody likes to be compared to others.

Photo by giphy

My mom compares me to others since when I was a kid up until this day.
90% of my heart, soul, and mind already numb to all this crap.
And Chinese parents always compares,
so I'm numb, the remaining 10% if probably anger or about to cry anytime if she wont stop that topic.
But what I'm mad about is not only my mom compares me, even my boy compares me to others.
WHAT THE HELL.

Photo by breatheheavy

Mariah, you've never been so right.

I'm not mad at that girl...
I'm just mad at my guy that why would he wanna compares me?
Doesn't he know that he actually DID hurt my feelings?
Not hurt 'a lil bit', but I am really disappointed.
I can't tolerate with that.

Just to express my negativity.

UGH

Feeling Pretty

Hi. Today if Friday and ALL CLASSES CANCEL. 
I'm so free this afternoon, 
I decided to slack until like 6pm? 
I the mean time, I decided to try to put on make up, especially eye shadow. 

My goodness,  for one sec I thought I look like Joker. 
I didn't even take a photo of it. 
I'm not born with a pair of deep set eyes like my mother, or double eye lids like her too, 
putting up eye shadow and trying to blend it - it is so damn hard. 
I'm starting to feel like my Naked 3 palette is a damn waste. 

Ahh. 
Why izit so hard just to be a fashion blogger.

Interest

Hello Humans. It's been a while. 

Yea. After three months and constant reminded by my woman Le Tong Sim Lu, 
I am back again for the Nth times. 
I started my Bachelor Degree on October and I'm so busy with le assignments, 
I don't really wanna miss any chance of staring at the ceiling blankly and slack the shit out of me. 

Yes. Constipation still haunts me and I rather spend time focusing on shitting than facing my laptop. 

But when I think back that my reasons to blog ( mainly because of the constant reminds of le Tong Lu),
I finally realize that my passion of sharing stuff has not die out just yet. 
I like to write, not writing freaggin' assignments or any papers, 
but just purely write my lungs and heart out. 
But other than writing my organs out, 
I wanna share a lil bit of my thought about my fashion thingy. 

Yes. 
I wanna be a fashion blogger. (Although this world is already overload with fashion bloggers.) 
Don't ask me why, I will tell you why. 
Because since I was a little girl (a lil sarcastic), 
I always have a thing for fashion. 
I like fashion. 
So, I saw humans are pumping their fashion/style thoughts around the world, 
I wanna join the fun too. 
Y'all know what I'm trying to say? 

So yea, I'll try my best to blog more often. 
Share more of my life and my fashionable thoughts with the Internet. 
I pray for myself I can keep on this fire for blogging. 
Burn my damn laziness away. 

BTW, 
when I'm talking about fashionable thoughts, 
I am DEFINITELY NOT talking about this. 

I'm so sorry to the designer of this, 
I just can't even. 

Lazy

I hope my brain can control the key board. 
I'm so lazy to type my thoughts. 
But I want to blog about my thoughts.
I wish I'm a mind-control genius. WTF. 

So updates on my kidney infection. 
I...... don't really know am I fully recovered... or not. 
Doctor said I'm good, but after I finish my antibiotics, 
I can still feel my my kidney is jumping. 

Dafuq I was saying. 
My point is, 
I can feel my kidney is there. Like, "THERE." 
My Mom say I'm over-reacting. 
According to her, I'm 'too afraid to die.' 

Nobody wants to die this early. 
Including me.

Anyway, 
I wanna be a fashion blogger. 
But I don't really know how. 
Plus my laziness. 
Gosh. 
I actually have a lot a lot a of of ideas going in my brain, 
I'm just TOO LAZY to type it all out. 
Yes darlings, 

I'M THIS LAZY.

Judge

Ah...... Time to update this blog. 

So I got my pay check this afternoon. 
I'm really happy because I am earning money OMG. 
At least now I'm not using My Mom's money to go shopping, to yumcha with friends, to do my own stuff.
I think My Mom is also kinda happy about it. 
She doesn't need to give me 300 bucks every months and yell at me at the same time.
I AM AN USEFUL HUMAN. LIKE FINALLY. 

So last night I went supper with my boyfriend, 
just a simple coffee chain store nearby ma house. 
We struggled on which coffee to choose and which food we wanna eat. 
Such dilemma. 

 

Our order came, 

and so...... We talked. 

Not those lovey-dovey-pumpkin-pie-cupcake-romantic kinda topics, 

we talked like normal, gossip abit, judging people, judging ourselves, and laughed abit of course. 

Judging people makes me feel I'm going to hell, so I judge myself too. 

June

Oh...... It's June already? 

Gosh...... When is the last time I update this space man...... 
But actually, there's really nothing to write about...... 
I mean, everyday is like everyday, 
I'm like doing/repeating the same thing everyday, 
friends went UK for degree, but not me, 
therefore I can't really write about my little clumsy adventure/seeing blue eye/gingers in the UK. 
Unless if I wanna blog about my little thoughts which I don't have any by the way. 
I'm still writing articles, brain spinning crazily like everyday (even before sleep), earning money to spend them. 
Brain tired, I'm tired, my eyes are tired, 
I can't even like think like, my personal thoughts? 
Dafuq am I talking about. 
I wanna poo brain. 

Yup. Me. 

Sometimes I wonder do I even have a normal brain. 

May

Finally,
I feel like writing.
Ever since I got my writing job, I felt so lazy to blog.
I'm just so afraid of writing and writing, I eventually lose interest in writing.
The only thing that keeps me motivated is the allowance.
Humans are basically NOTHING without money.

Yea.
Gotta work hard, get more money.

So I suppose this post is gonna be a long one.
I have tons of things that happened in April to update here.
I went ice skating with ma BFF, I went lunch with my another BFF, I went lunch again with my another BFF, My Dad came back from Johor and we watched football.
Oh, and that's about it.
It's so short.

 Yep. My recent mood is something like his.
I think I better put some photos in this.

My long lost BFF.
The last time I saw her was like...... 4 years ago.
I can't recall, it's tooooooooooo long.
We look like each other huh. 

7 years ago.
7 f*ckin' years.
I still love her. If she saw this she'll probably scream the shit out of her. XD

 

And of course, 

the Tong Lu and the Ian. 

BFFz FOREVAzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So I bought this hat from Forever 21. 
And each of us took many many many photos wearing it.
Damn, we look like macam yes.
Indie pop ah! Thanks to the hat which cost me rm69. 

And my high school old humans and I went ice skating.
We fell and screamed and laughed.
Gosh we had so much fun there. 
We went Genting too.
5pm took off from Sunway and arrived at Genting around 8:30pm. 
All freaking things in one day.
We were crazy as hell. MENTAL.
But I enjoyed it.
I don't know after this, when can we meet and do crazy stuffs together again.

Brain

Few days of laziness is a catalyst. 
I'm lazy to write blog now. 
Everyday is like everyday is one of the reasons, 
nothing special to blog about really. 
My like is miserable, normal, and more miseries are waiting for me. 

The 2nd reason is I don't really wanna on the laptop. 
Writing articles for a social network page, doing plenty plenty plenty of research is tiring and eye staining. 
I can feel my eyeballs are going to fall off anytime. 
Writing blog just makes me feel like My eyes are gonna explode. 

I'll probably look like that. 
Not now. I hope not forever. 

Plus recently there's something going on in my family. 
Gosh. 
After a long peaceful life, 
there's definitely something happen to ruin everything. 
Can't I just live my life peacefully and happily? 
Something is wrong with my grandma. 
She said her vision is blur which it never happen before. 
Of course, it scared the shit out of me. 
According to My Mom she is fine now, 
my aunt brought her to the optician and the optician said it's ok, nothing bad, 
probably high blood pressure. 
Hopefully is something minor, not big. 

And of course, the hamster pet. 
One of the hamsters has wound and fur starting to fall. 
My Sis said take the hamster to the vet, but my mom refuse. 
And this is where the problem started. 
Damn. 
That is why I don't really engage myself with pets. 

Tons of negativeness going on, 
My Boyfriend is here to hear everything. 
Thank You. 
And a book I bought that day, 
it's a nice book. 
Simple and entertaining and lovey dovey. 
I don'treally need to use that much brain power. 
My brain is stress enough, 
I don't need more challenge to pressure my brain. 
I'm just glad I have my own little world and imagination. 
Unicorns everywhere. 

Reality sucks.

Books

So last Saturday I went to a mall to spend my book vouchers. 
And I spent it like a boss...... with my youngest sister.

You can tell which are mine and which are hers. 
Mine are like...... More mature I guess. 
Sometimes I read her books too, 
when I am bored by my own book that I bought myself. 

So far, I read a book. 
The Notebook.

It's a very beautiful story. 
I really really really really really really really really really really really love this book although it's my first time reading it. 
It's about love, OBVIOUSLY. 
You just have to read it yourself. 
There's also a movie based on this story. 
Too bad I watched the movie first before I read the book. 
Ryan Gosling will forever be Noah and Rachel McAdams will forever be Allie. 

The book and the movie are nice. 
 Just...... the feelings of reading the book and watching the movie is different. 
I cried watching the movie, 
I cried even harder reading the book. 
A toilet roll was beside me all the time when I was reading the book. 
My nose is already blocked because of the flu, 
crying makes it 10 times worse. 
I can't breathe for the past 2 nights. 
But it worth the nose block. 
It's really a very good book. 

I really hope everyone in this world will consider adding this book in their reading list. 
It will made you laugh and cry and laugh again. 
Such a lovely book :)

Stupidity

At this time, 
I actually have a few things in my mind now to post. 
Road trip part 2 and books and tons and tons of other stuffs. 
But my stupidity stop me from doing it. 

Urgh. 
Sometimes I even wonder am I retard or something. 
I was texting My Boyfriend and all of the sudden... 

"Message sending FAILED" 

Dafuq. 
I forgot to reload my credit. 
I went out for the the whole evening and I forgot to reload. 
What was in my mind that time?! 
Oh yea, Ikea, books, curry puffs, hot dog and ice cream. 

So I realize I need to reload my credit, 
I choose to reload via my bank account. 
E-banking they say. 
I haven't register e-banking function so I'm a first-time users. 
They require my access number and PIN number. 
Dafuq what is access number. 
I yelled at my laptop for 10minutes. 
My Mom even gave me the poker face. 
Then I realize it's in my confirmation letter. 

A poker to me, from me. 
And then I realize why after I key in my access number and pin, 
WRONG PIN
WRONG PIN 
WRONG PIN 
WRONG PIN 
WRONG PIN 

I ended up calling the bank's customer's service.
After talking to them, 
I'm a little calm. 
I decided to Google what's wrong with my registration thing. 

"User have to register themselves at the ATM to activate the E-Banking system before registering E-Banking via computer." 

 I should really...... go have some milk.

Eyelash

So I just finished my shower.
Had a hardcore workout session with le Youtube.

I need a workout buddy like either Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone.
Determined, motivated, and HARDCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And get my hot body and be sexy and everybody be like JEALOUS JEALOUS JELLY.

Dat ass.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want that ass and small waist.
Anyway, that is not the point.

Just now when I had my shower,
I was thinking about the title/theme for my blog post today.
I hang the shower head, and I just stand and let the water hit my back.
I thought of writing about places I wanted to go, but then,
I GOT NO MONEY. So I gave up on that title.
I thought about writing my ambition.
Dafuq I got no mood to write about my ambition.
I thought of writing about my choice of music,
I can predict it's gonna be along one, so I thought about the content first.

All of the sudden...

"Why my eye feel so pokey?"

When I turn around and look at the mirror,
DAFUQ AN EYELASH STUCK AT MY EYEBALL.

An eyelash STICK at my eyeball.
Why will an eyelash stick at my eyeball.
I double triple four-ple five-ple look at the mirror,
great.
An eyelash did stick at my eyeball.
And it's poking my eye.
I thought eyelash suppose to keep things out of my eye. 

Urgh.
I tried to wash my eye with the shower head.
WATER GET INTO MY EYES!!!!!!
And I hope it will wash the eyelash away.
But instead of that,
my eye was over washed, it hurts.

It feels like that.
My eye is the car.
Dafuq.
I can't take it anymore,
that hair is going into my eye, I panic, I almost scream in the bathroom,
Therefore, I push my eyeball.

This is one moment that I hope I can cry so my tears can wash that hair our of my eye.
I pushed and pushed and pushed,
I can feel my eyeball is gonna fly now anytime.
Because this thing is scaring the shit out of me,
I don't wanna end up like Nick Fury,
I choose a much gentle way - Rub my eye.

I rub and rub and rub,
and I found an eyelash stick at my finger.
I'm a little happy because an eyelash stick at my finger.
Another thing is, is that the eyelash who stick in my eye, or a NEW eyelash.

Motivation

I just workout. 
Sweating like nobody's business!!!!!! 

Bacon. 
Very derrrricious bacon strip. 
Oh I miss Subway's beef bacon strip breakfast sandwich. 
They have the best egg there, microwave egg. 
The power of microwave. 

Anyway, 
I'm feeling kinda negative lately. 
My writing job, I'm lack of ideas.
And I need to write everyday.
I'm basically cracking my head everyday, thinking ideas to write. 
I can feel my head is going to explode someday, but not now, 
because I still have many things to do. 
Such as thinking what to eat the next day. 

Can I cry. 
I need to release my pressure. 
They say eating can release pressure. 
Not for me. 
Mine is watching violence movies, such as Resident Evil and The Expendable.
BLOOD EVERYWHERE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

I need to relax. 

青春永駐

我的第一篇中文 post. 

一些中文字已經忘了，所以會有英文字的出現。

我覺得這篇文章英文是很難表達出來，

母語雖然是英文，

畢竟學了九年的中文，說了整十多年的破中文，感情 wise 會比較貼切。

同桌在社交網站 po 了一篇東西，

90 後的成長。

裡面的東西說得真好，一針見血。

虛偽和現實，是我最不想面對的東西。

我知道有這倆的存在，只是不想去理，也不要去理。 

我寧願有自己的一個小空間，

做我自己喜歡的東西。

我不想學會長大，太複雜了。

要學會擦鞋，看臉色，小動作，搞小團隊，天啊我不喜歡遇到這些有的沒的。 

做人簡單一點不就好了嗎？ 

他說我有一點點 introvert, I think I really am one. 

Or to be exact, I'm a past person. 

I miss the past more than I look forward. 

The only thing that motivate me to look forward is thinking what to write for my job thing n what to eat the next day. 

And many more, books and tv and family and friends. 

And boyfriend of course. And money. 

Anyway, I only like mixing around with ppl that I already know, I'm lazy meeting new people. 

You see, that is one of the thing of growing up, 

You gotta meet people, talk bullshit, and smile and fake the day until you are home. 

I really don't wanna live in a life like that. 

About the I'm a past person thing, 

I like to think about the happy little life when I don't need to worry about everything. 

I like thinking about old times, 

Because I met a lot of great people, 

And I love spending time with them, 

Not that I don't see them now but... 

It's not like old times anymore. 

Time flies, things change, people change.   You will never had the feelings that you once had with them. 

Don't ever question yourself, 

It happens, all the time. 

It's just not the same anymore. 

But life goes on. 

I hope I won't forget my past, it is the one who shape me into a person I am now. 

Some are good memories, some are bad, 

But Never regret on what we did, because at that time, it was exactly what we wanted. 

The thing you can do is keep the good ones, try not to remember the bad ones. 

You won't forget, it just fade. 

A toast to our life, a toast to our youth.  

I'm blogging in English again. 

Typing mandarin is so troublesome :0 

Different

So my social network company is having a meeting on this coming Saturday. 

IM SOOOOOOOOOOO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I'm gonna meet my boss and a few virtual coulleagues of mine which I haven't meet or talk to. 

So far I only talk to my boss only. THROUGH FACEBOOK :/ 

That's why I'm super nervous now. 

And it's at Publika, a place where no buses will take me too. 

I can only rely on the taxi. 

 

I hope my nervousness won't make me look like shit. 

We are going to have a lunch too. 

I don't really wanna look like a monster eating like a monster. 

I shovel spaghetti. 

Anyway, 

I got this from My Mom yesterday. 

ANTIQUE. 

I RUV IT. 

I feel swag man!!!!!! 

It's from the... I don't know when My Mom bought it, I only know My Mom wear it when she was 20 years younger. 

Swag eh?? 

I'm gonna wear this out everyday. 

It's so cool. I can feel so swaggie. 

At least nobody will wear this glasses out, ONLY ME. 

 

Style biatch. 

Random

I just ordered pizza. 
My Dad asked me to. 
I tried to play calm, as if I don't wanna eat pizza. 
But deep down in my heart I AM SCREAMING FOR PIZZA. 
Too bad My Boyfriend just went home. 

Pizza. 

Anyway, this afternoon I went dim sum breakfast with My Family and we went Klcc because My Mom wanted to redeem her vouchers. 
In conjunction of the Anime Event in Mid Valley, 
I dressed like a Japanese gal today. 
Observe. 

Blur photo taken by My Sis in the toilet. 
Bart everywhere. 
My Mom said my shoes are like safety shoes that My Dad wears at the construction site, 
My Sis said it looks like combat boots. 
I can only say they do not know the meaning of Fashion. 

So I bought this thing called 'Black Sesame Spread'. 
The lady said it's from Japan, RM20 for a bottle. 
I tried, I think it worth the price. 
Therefore, I bought it and My Mom paid for it. 
Thank You Mom. 

It's in my fridge now. 
I'm gonna try it tomorrow. 

Oh, and I had one of the best cendol at Klcc. 
Seriously, it's really good. 
It's been a while since I had a good bowl of cendol, not in kl, but in melacca, and I had diarrhea after that. 
I just can't believe I can have this in kl, sweet authentic gula melacca and creamy santan. 
Just the way I like it.

Pizza is served.